Carnival of Monsters: The Brains of Morphoton

Carnival of Monsters

Number Four: The Brains of Morphoton

I love the Brains of Morphoton. I’m a sucker for a brain in a jar. When I grown up I want to be one.

They sit around all day in their glass jars in a darkened room with nothing in the way of entertainment, not even a screen to watch their minions. Even Sutekh had a ZX Spectrum to keep him occupied down the millennia. What can they possibly do to relieve their boredom?

Brain 1: Did you hear about Morbius? He bought a new glass jar off eBay.

Brain 2: Oh, he’s such a show-off, always boasting about that new body he’s got on the way, and that it’s got a magnificent head.

(SILENCE FOR A FEW MINUTES).

Brain 2: Dorium's got Wi-Fi installed. Why can't we get it?



Brain 1: We don't need Wi-Fi. It's too expensive and besides we outgrew porn when we outgrew our bodies. Let's play a game instead.



Brain 2: (SIGHS) I spy with my little eye...

And for a people whose brains have outgrown their bodies because of their intelligence, their devices are so literally and amusingly named. We have the Mesmeron, for mesmerising people, and the Somnor discs for sending people to sleep. Clearly this is a people who haven’t invented Time Team with Tony Robinson. Watching that’s the most effective way to send someone to sleep.

The Brains only appear to have one voice. Maybe they pass it between them. When they chant ‘Kill her, kill her, kill her, KILL HER’ at Ian as he is trying to kill Barbara, I can’t help thinking if only it had been Susan he was strangling, I’d have been chanting with them.

But most of all I love the scene where Barbara attacks them with a beaker. I especially like the Brain that apparently dies of fright before Barbara gets anywhere near it. Just look at the poor fella’s eye stalk droop in terror.